There may be several reasons why some people have difficulty enjoying sex, for example it may be that you have experienced sexual abuse in the past and therefore still have difficulty in ‘surrendering’ during sex, (this can still occur when you have a loving partner), this trauma is often still in your body and you react unconsciously when ‘danger’ occurs. And your body may have made a link between having sex and ‘danger’…

It may also be that you have difficulty relaxing and enjoying sex for completely different reasons. Perhaps this is a theme in your life and you generally find it very difficult to enjoy life and you (unconsciously) often feel the need to keep control. This is usually due to childhood trauma, but there can also be other causes. And by childhood trauma I mean everything you have experienced from birth until about 8 years old (these are very important years)….

But make no mistake about the importance of the family line and previous lives related to traumas and emotional blockages, if there has been a lot of sexual abuse in the family line, you can also carry this with you as a woman, even though you have not been sexually abused yourself.

Lastly I would like to say that the pregnancy is also very important, when you were still safely(?) in your mother’s womb. Imagine that there is already the death of a loved one (in your family), then you experience loss before you are born… Or maybe you are a twin born alone and you suddenly had to come here to earth alone, instead of with a brother or sister… So you will already, at one of the earliest moments in your life, deal with feelings of ‘being abandoned’ or the feeling of being alone… Maybe you are asking yourself ‘What does this have to do with my sex life’?…

One of the most important things during sex is that you can relax and surrender to the other person, trust is very important here. And if you have little trust deep down, you will (almost) always be tense when you are intimate with someone else… You probably also have difficulty, not only enjoying sex, but also having a deep, emotional connection with others, especially in love relationships… This is all connected.

Why am I writing about this topic? In my life I have seen and experienced many things, with myself and others. I have struggled to open up to deep connections, but through healing I have been able to let go of this. I think it is important that all topics can be discussed, nothing should be taboo! And you should be able to enjoy sex, there shouldn’t be a taboo on that. I also find taboo-breaking topics super interesting and I would like to help you find out where your blocks are coming from. You may already have an idea about it, or maybe not, it doesn’t matter. I’d love to take a look at it with you!

If you want to know more about what exactly a healing is, you can take a look here.

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